Rejected but nah, not dejected...

It's been a hell of a week... People feeling sorry for me, me feeling sorry for myself, people being helpful, feeling helpless, being angry and all sorts of emotions and feelings, all thrown into one place.

So then, do i have a plan now? Yea, of course, like I've told myself before this countless of times, that if Malaysia is it, then let it be it? It's hard to swallow, hard to accept, but yea, there must be something 'good' installed for me here isn't it?

My new 'action plan', in the 'pipeline' now (all the terms i've been learning from my seniors).
I'll not be nonchalant and lackadasical in learning anymore, because it has costed me and it wasn't a nice feeling. I can't always 'get away with it', high-school mentality was so yesterday. I should stop holding myself back, just to play cool and so when I fall, I will say, that was not my best, so if I did do my best, It could have been better.... From now on, it's time to go all out and take on the challenge and embrace it.

People (in general) are always saying, your uni degree is only a paper to get you a first job, I believed them, until now. It's an awesome feeling, when you are in the 'know' not in the 'dark'.
When people ask you a question about what you might have learnt before (highschool, college) and when you do know what they are talking about, there's a nice feeling about it. And i know why, because It'll be this feeling of, "Oh yea, this is how it applies, the 'stuff' we were learning in school" I've felt it, and I like that feeling, and this feeling is driving me to want know more.

Don't care what sort of knowledge it is. It can be dense things like politics or maths (i hate maths). It could be simple everyday things like, how come my company's printer has 4 diff trays and how do i 'instruct' the printer from my lappie to print from my 'desired' tray? all these things I want to know, so come world, come feed my brain, input me, anykind, I want to take it all in...

I've finally found my purpose for learning, and this time I will do it properly, learning for a reason.... Hopefully, along the way, I don't find out that I am incapable, I'm supposed to be just lazy...