I...wanna be inside ur heaven..

Dunno what's the deal lately, but i guess it's the monsoon rainy spell, stirs up emo-ness in peope i guess... Today's another rainy day, whole day fr morn till evening, driving to klang in my 'new' (refurbished) iswara and then suddenly switching to 105.7fm....damn emo..

Then even worse, u get carrie underwood belting out Inside Your Heaven over the radio...and i start thinking of 2 years ago...when carrie won idol... emo is not even about carrie winning idol.. but the significance of that phase in my life.. hell my first blog post ever (friendster) was about carrie underwood.. thats so weird.. how such and unimportant person such as carrie would be intertwined in my life in such a 'dramatic' way... *confused*

Lately Ive been drawing...

It's weird, cos of late, the more i tell myself i need to study the more i refuse to...
and then what happens? I end up with a drawing of a tree on an A4 Double A paper.

Despite the fact that i had no brushes and no palette, just cottonbuds that i was using to dig out my ear-wax...and a tube of buncho black, of-course...oh and some water in a bottle-cap i found on my desk....

Whilst trying my hardest to avoid my books, i watched goong on the com, again...and giggled along with it, ber-emo-ing....and yeah, drew a tree.

but nevertheless, its one of 'those' things that just happens....sometimes...in life....

So, i decided to name 'the tree' - Cottonbudart.

Its 4am

Life, a journey or an illusion?
Is it a journey because we're disillusioned?
Or is it an illusion because we're afraid of the journey?

Suppose, it's a journey, then life would be a long and winding road,
An illusion is only a mirage, unreal.
Our existence becomes meaningless, nothingness
Then, Life is better-off a journey.
...............

10,000 on Picket IN KL - 3rd NOV 2007

WHAT? THAT HAPPENED? WHEN?......

That was the answer I got from every person I related my account of 'the' massive (10K strong) employees strike in and around Menara Maybank, KL last saturday afternoon. Then why wouldn't ppl know? What happened?

I don't know the 'inside' story but it seems to me that our media has been stopped from publishing extensively on this. I was there, (on the way home from Malacca, scouts hike/thing). There were tons of ppl with banners and t-shirts, buttons, pembesar-suara and the entire street of vehicles were honking as they passed by...

Banners such as MAYBANK ROMPAK BONUS KAMI! were all over.... SOme went "WE ARE UNDERPAID"others went "THEY OWE US 30% + 3 MONTHS", my fav banner "HONK IF U SUPPORT US!" hahaha, and lots more... apparently it's the banks' employees union who staged this picket strike, pretty impressive I would say (being there and all) was exciting, never seen a 'real' strike(picket, not so serious) before... I was thinking,this is huge man, sure make front page tomorrow...I swear I saw loads of ppl with the mediaTag present with their huge SLRs, there were like at least 2 dozen policemen...and yeah tons of 'KPC' onlookers like me... watch the vid:



Funny thing is, next morn, In the STAR u get a like 5cm X 15cm picture-less article on this strike!....and its like on page i dunno what? Hmmnnn....strange....

FROM GOOGLE NEWS:
Saturday November 3, 2007

Bank staff to continue with picket

KUALA LUMPUR: The National Union of Bank Employees (NUBE) will continue to picket in front of banks for months or even a year until they give members their due right, said union general secretary J. Solomon.

Today, the union is organising a national picket of 10,000 members in front of Menara Maybank here to show its disappointment over the deadlock in its collective agreement dispute.

Solomon said the union had asked for a 30% wage increase and a cost of living allowance for the workers, and the banks agreed to the 30% pay rise provided they do away with the two months' contractual bonus.

“This is the first time that banks are trying to take away what little we have,” he said yesterday at a press conference.

He said the union was in favour of the banks introducing performance bonuses in addition to contractual bonuses but not for the former to replace the latter.

NUBE is the union for the lowest category of bank workers comprising clerical and non-clerical staff and their wages start at RM662 per month (non-clerical) and RM995 (clerical).

Solomon pointed out that even a clerk in the government sector was paid higher, with a minimum salary of RM1,300.

He stressed that members needed the pay rise so that their standard of living could go up, adding that the lower-income group spent their money in the country.

“Bank executives and management are paid RM10,000, RM15,000 or RM20,000 a month and bonuses of 10 to 15 months, and they are the ones who spend their money abroad,” he said.

Solomon pointed out that during the 1997 financial crisis, NUBE got members to agree to forgo their salary increment and bonuses to help the banks through the difficult times.

He said now that the banks had recovered financially and were reaping billions in profit, they had forgotten the sacrifice made by their workers.

Solomon said today’s picket would be directed at Maybank because it was the premier bank in the country and had made RM5.7bil in profit, and it was also a member of the Malayan Commercial Banks Association.

Sometimes Students Gossip about the Darndest Things...

OMG, no one would guess what happened 2 days ago in uni. Ok, we have this macro and Corp.Fin. lecturer whose name is Valerie Loh (Anyways, liz/janelle if ure readin, she's Philip Loh's daughter). Imagine this lady, she's like prolly 28, has nerdy (see what i mean about making ur blog private?) style glasses and basically hunches and talks like she's announcing an obituary, but above all, we actually like her, seriously. She's really amusing to watch (at least all my classmates think so )

She sez lame-ass stuffs to herself under her own breath sometimes (loud enuff for us to hear). Imagine a nerdy looking serious lecturer talking about IS-LM-BP models and then suddenly out of nowhere she goes "You know the other day i almost killed myself, tripping over goodie bags left over from the prom in my room, its a huge mess" (it's not funny at all, its really damn random and awkward, even worse that she giggles at herself after that) Ok, then fine, u get the picture of how Miss Valerie is like...this goofy sort of dorky individual in a very likeable kinda way...

So 2 days ago, in macro tutorial, we couldn't concentrate. Miss Valerie was all dressed up and pretty with make up n all. So i was asking the guys, "dont u think she looks pretty today?" and unfortunately for me, the 1st dude i asked was this guy named waikit, u see waikit had seen valerie's bf (when none of us suspected she was dating anyone) but anyways, waikit answered "well the thought of whom she's dressed up for, spoils the whole thing"....so thats how we found out about Miss Valerie's bf and him bein likened to a char kuay teow seller style kinda guy accordin to our only eye-witness, waikit...

Class ended (we spent the entire class gossiping about nonsense) After class i was walking with this girl isabelle who has a really strong american-british accent (intl school kid). SO i was randomly saying, "i wonder if Valeris's bf is waiting for her at LC?" "Hmmnnn, I wonder how he looks like?" Isabelle added. Well u see Isabelle wasn't really payin attention to the gossiping back in tutorial class. Isabelle then said "You guys were saying he looks like a char kuay teow seller?" I pointed towards waikit who was ahead of us "I don't know, ask waikit la, he's the one who saw them at....." suddenly Ahmed who's walking next to waikit turns around and says "Hi Miss!"

I stopped dead in my tracks......omg, in my head.....fuck!

Turned around praying in my head, pls pls, let her not hear the char kuay teow part, pls pls lets hope that Isabelle's accent sounded ang mor enuff to pass 'char kuay teow' as soemthing else...mb she missed it....Nope, unfortunately for us, Miss said "I heard what you guys said, every single word." "OMG, Miss Marilyn!" Phewww, not Valerie, Thank you Jesus....

So yeah, next time if any of u wanna gossip, one advice, watch ur back!

Btw, Miss Marilyn was cool, she's those jokey kinda person, She told belle that we shan't worry about it, cos apparently lecturers gossip a much more awful lot about the students..... wow! good to know....

HELP's Sports Carnival 2007

Econs Dept. ACTUALLY has a Netball team! We were just a bunch of people who wanted to play some ball for something and got our names on the same piece of paper at the Econs Dept. for weeks and never met until the day before the match.

To our surprise, we 'clicked' instantly as individuals and also as a team....why? cos' people like Rachel and Laura are a match made in heaven for LAMERZ. Seriously, think you know lame? Wait till u see these 2 new found friends together, *faints*

So we met the day before.... so what? We were planning to NOT Win anything anyways. How could we? A-Levels were training for weeks on end already and they had like 2 teams for ONE dept?? And 1/2 of us don't even really know how to play netball (like me).

Last Saturday was match day, we waited for "ALL" of us to come (some couldn't make it 4 the one day b4 crash-course training), but wait... one, two, three, four, five, six and seven.... Thats it? Seven players for a 7 player per team game? SO means what? No substitutes? Oh well, not that it's that big a deal right? Its not like we'll need substitutes.... It's only 7mins per 1/2 and it's only 2 games for one whole day.... unless....

Top:Econs Netball Team (Silver!) more pics of the team soon..., Bottom:A-Levels vs Poor Psych.Dept.

we win something. And you bet we did, many games in fact, that soon we were in the FINALS, fighting for the GOLD!...Omginess, you kidding me, the GOLD?

Sadly, we didn't make it, Tayar Pancit.

In the end? We're one proud team, oh yes we are....cos interestingly, ECONS dept has NEVER EVER in HELPS' history came this far.....ever

Changing times...

A Shining star, that's what I want to be... Whatever happens, whatever changes....

Lately, I've been having thoughts, lots of them. I thought about what truly makes me happy in life? (what's truly importat) I've always wanted to do everything, and anything.... Thats why I did sciences and arts in A-Levels, thats why I was in grief when I 'had' to give-up science for social science. That's why, I never gave my social science a 100% chance, I never realised my full potential after I was forced to focus on a particular area. I felt imcomplete, un-whole, like, I was not all-rounded. I felt remorse for not being active in many many things in college. Sometimes when I walk by a poster on Aiesec, Toastmasters, Raleigh.... I thought, I could be part of that? But then, I want to be part of everything! When I browse YOUTUBE, I see prodigies playing their piano, and I thought, I can play that piece too! Then, I'm regretful again, for not spending time on the piano, not realising my 'fullest potential'.

And that's MY biggest problem and mistake. I always think I am not realising my 'full potential'. But how can I? If i want to be at my 'fullest potential' at Everything and Anything? Logically, this sounds very stupid, even a 5 year old kid can tell you that it's stupid, but when you're running on the threadmill without a stop button, you keep running...

It's about time I learnt to let go... thats why I started to think about what truly makes me happy in life?

Here's what I came up with:

1. Relationship with God

2. Relationship with family and my closest friends

3. My grades

4. My body, being fit

5. Social contribution

And thats all. 5 things. Should have done this earlier.....sighs...

Rejected but nah, not dejected...

It's been a hell of a week... People feeling sorry for me, me feeling sorry for myself, people being helpful, feeling helpless, being angry and all sorts of emotions and feelings, all thrown into one place.

So then, do i have a plan now? Yea, of course, like I've told myself before this countless of times, that if Malaysia is it, then let it be it? It's hard to swallow, hard to accept, but yea, there must be something 'good' installed for me here isn't it?

My new 'action plan', in the 'pipeline' now (all the terms i've been learning from my seniors).
I'll not be nonchalant and lackadasical in learning anymore, because it has costed me and it wasn't a nice feeling. I can't always 'get away with it', high-school mentality was so yesterday. I should stop holding myself back, just to play cool and so when I fall, I will say, that was not my best, so if I did do my best, It could have been better.... From now on, it's time to go all out and take on the challenge and embrace it.

People (in general) are always saying, your uni degree is only a paper to get you a first job, I believed them, until now. It's an awesome feeling, when you are in the 'know' not in the 'dark'.
When people ask you a question about what you might have learnt before (highschool, college) and when you do know what they are talking about, there's a nice feeling about it. And i know why, because It'll be this feeling of, "Oh yea, this is how it applies, the 'stuff' we were learning in school" I've felt it, and I like that feeling, and this feeling is driving me to want know more.

Don't care what sort of knowledge it is. It can be dense things like politics or maths (i hate maths). It could be simple everyday things like, how come my company's printer has 4 diff trays and how do i 'instruct' the printer from my lappie to print from my 'desired' tray? all these things I want to know, so come world, come feed my brain, input me, anykind, I want to take it all in...

I've finally found my purpose for learning, and this time I will do it properly, learning for a reason.... Hopefully, along the way, I don't find out that I am incapable, I'm supposed to be just lazy...

Back to being pennyloo

Hi, this blog is,

Continued from my friendster blog : http://penny_loo.blogs.friendster.com/pennys_spasticity_down_in/
Then also continued from :
http://spasticitydowninwords.blogspot.com/

Because.....
Now, i prefer to be just pennyloo...